Sweet Days

There was a time, before I was pregnant with Alyson that Scott and I had to have "the talk." The one where we talk about all the pros and cons of bringing another baby into the world.


The topic that would always resurface--how will the other children respond? How would they take having another child to share their time with? How would they get on with losing sleep when the baby would get up during the night? How would it affect Destyni when we would have to say no to sleepovers until I was rested up enough to be able to take care of an extra child? Sleepovers are a huge part of little girls life. I try and explain this to Scott, that both Alyson and Destyni will always need their own rooms, for sleepovers and gossip with their friends ( I leave out the part about the giggling over boys for hours because Scott's heart belongs to his little girls) We wondered if Jonathan would mind waiting just one more year before hitting the soccer fields because being pregnant and Scott's job meant that I couldn't fully commit to anything more than what was already on my plate.

But we always came back to the same thing. We wanted our children to have siblings, to lean on, to love, to care for. And that one day when Scott and I may not walk this beautiful Earth again we want them to have each other. The more the merrier, right?

Months later we found out we were pregnant with Alyson. Months after that we found out it was a girl. A sister for Destyni and Jonathan. Just what was wanted. We kept telling our children that we would have no say in what we are going to have but those comments went in one ear and out the other. They wanted a sister. They already had a brother.

And our beautiful baby was born.

Jonathan didn't have much time for Alyson at the beginning, when visiting the hospital he was more interested in the snacks that the nurses brought in. But Destyni, she was in love.



Jonathan snuggling up to the snacks, Destyni to her sister.

 It took less than two weeks for Jonathan to fall in love with Alyson. Nothing new happened, but it was like one day he woke and knew that she was going to be so special in his life.

Having Alyson changed our lives. Not just for the obvious reasons but for so much more. Jonathan became a better brother to Destyni, became an amazing helper to me and became Alyson's little play buddy. When Alyson sees Jonathan she goes crazy. Her little chubb legs start pumping and she can't wait to grab a hold of him.

Destyni became even more helpful around the house. Helping with Alyson anyway she could. Grabbing diapers, changing her (who doesn't want their own real doll), helping me pick out clothes for her to wear. She became a better sister to Jonathan, and an amazing sister to Alyson. When Alyson sees Destyni she tries to talk to her, in her own little burbly words.

Watching my children grow in love is amazing. I wanted to write about this today because today they have been giving me bits and pieces of what our future will look like. Alyson crying on the floor and Jonathan handing her one of his special toys. Jonathan asking for milk and Destyni running to the kitchen to grab a cup before the sentence in out of his mouth. Leaning on one another, helping one another and loving one another.

It's an amazing life!!!

Control Escape

As I am sitting here patiently waiting for Spring.. this is what is happening outside.

I am a bit discouraged considering that just yesterday I hung up the winter coats and pants in the closet. The closet that is used for keeping clothes that aren't to be worn until next season! I am kind of wanting to drop kick have a chat with Mother Nature!!

So for now I am trying to gain more of this

And pretend I am going to do this somewhere warm and sunny

In the meantime I am watching Alyson grow more quickly than I care to admit. Little Miss has a second tooth poking through. She also has been getting over a nasty cold, which makes her wake at the oddest hours. Like 11:00pm and 4:00am and then 6:00am.

But she's on the ball with learning to share. Unfortunately it was her cold with Jonathan, who handles colds about as well as his Daddy. Which means his world came to a fast halt the minute that his nose started running. If only bells would come with colds, that could be rung for Mommy to come as soon as something was needed. Like taking the used tissue to the garbage--seriously!!  There have been many tears in this house lately (I can't say that those tears were all coming from the kids).

So for now my buddy Lysol and I are having quite a close relationship! Please hurry Spring, my sheets are just dying to be dried outside on the line!!!

March Break

Last week was a wonderful week!! Destyni was on March Break, Scott took some vacation time and the weather was beautiful. I don't think that there was one day that the kids couldn't go out and play. We relaxed, did some shopping, had a movie night and went for walks. It was a perfect little stay-cation.

It was great to have Destyni home for St. Patrick's Day. We made crafts, baked green muffins and all the kids were decked out in green. Although Alyson's outfit only lasted for a few minutes due to her crazy drooling habits.

My once Toothless Wonder is now toothed! I was so proud when I checked her gums and felt a little point at the end of my fingertip. I was so impressed at how well she handled getting that tooth, her very first one. Both Destyni and Jonathan spiked outrageous fevers and were just miserable for those first few days.

But like any mommy told secret....I should have kept my mouth shut! As soon as those words were uttered to Scott, "I can't believe how well she is doing",  I looked at him knowing I had sealed my fate. Does this happen to you? When you brag about how well your child is doing everything turns upside down and becomes worse.

3:30

AM!!!

That was the time Miss. Alyson decided was wake up time!!!

 Ugg!! So now I am debating on either injecting coffee into my veins or looking for a top of the line espresso machine!!! It's evident! March Break is over.

I am in TROUBLE!!!

Big, fat, how am I going to talk my way out of this one, trouble.

Oh dear!

This morning, while I am feeding Alyson her breakfast Jonathan comes downstairs with a book. It's a cute book, all about animals, plants...etc.  And seeing your child come downstairs with a book in hand just makes you feel proud. Yeah,  I may have walked around with my head held a little higher, it "could" have happened.

I am going to venture onto a little side note now, it will all come together. We have nick names for our children. Just cute little names that we have had since they were babies. I am not sure why we have nicknames for our children, we've spent aprox 6,480 hour trying to decide on a name just to have it tossed to the wind as soon as we think of something that is a little sweeter to call them.

Alex-  AlyCat
Destyni- Dessie Babes
Jonathan- Jona-Bear
Alsyon -Ginger Chicken

Back on track---Jonathan is showing me the animals on one particular page. Notice the bear on the far left side? Well Jonathan started talking about the bears, going on about how big that bear was and how Daddy likes bears at the zoo. Then he wanted to know where the Jona-Bears were!!! HE THINKS HE IS A SPECIES OF BEAR!!!!

How am I going to explain this to him?  It's my fault, okay not entirely, Scott helped with the name. Even though partially blaming him doesn't make me feel any better. Should I hope that he just realizes that it is a name and has no bearing on him as a little human (no pun intended).

He thinks bear...maybe sloth?

Oh dear!!

On to very very exciting news though. Notice how I stick my head in the sand, changing the subject? For right now, denial suits me just fine =)
 Alyson uttered "Ma." yesterday...TWICE!!! It made my heart soar. I don't think she has any idea that I am "Ma" and I don't even care!! This child has no teeth and is starting to talk (well burble in her own language)....my little Toothless Wonder!!!

Kind of makes up for her brother thinking he is a bear!
Happy Monday!!!

Weekend Bliss

I am feeling the weekend. The slowness of it all, the laid back, no routine, drinking coffee for the taste not the necessity. I love weekends.

I have read that Spring is creeping in and around in certain places,  but where we are there is still a lot of snow. Even last night at least 5 cms fell. Please Mother Nature bring Spring soon, my children have the cutest little rain boots that are just waiting to be broken in. Thanks Walmart!

I am not the only one in this house that loves weekends. We all take our turn squeezing as much relaxing and enjoyment out of it.

After a day of playing outside a movie was a must. (Or so I was told) Nothing like laying in front of the fireplace with a big bowl of popcorn. I just had to take this picture, I love the innocence of Destyni and Jonathan.  But after an hour and some of relaxing, the opposite is just bound to happen. The giggles and energy set in!!!

Just a wee bit of crazy floating around this house. They get it honestly enough =) Even Alyson likes to get down with her bad self.

This scarf did start off in my hair as an accessory , but Alyson just couldn't resist wearing it. Really though, what eight month old doesn't need a silk scarf?

And next week is March Break, so this is just the beginning of the "not going to do to much" week. So excited!!

I hope you all had a great weekend as well. I have to end this now though because I have currently lost a hand to the casualty of Alyson's teething mouth and am typing one handed =)
xxoo

Surreal

After most of the morning rush is done and over with I open our laptop to check the news. What I am reading and seeing is horrific, sad and surreal.

Jonathan climbs into my lap while I am watching a news video. He sees the waves and the boats swirling around like bath toys caught in the swirl of the drain.
"That's so cool." He comments, his tender age doesn't allow for such horror to seep into his beautiful unhindered mind.

I envied him. For two whole minutes, I envied him. I wanted to be sitting on my mothers lap, not understanding what is happening in another part of the world. I want to believe in fairies and pixie dust again. And believe that it is Jack Frost who leaves alluring creations upon the windows on frigid winter mornings. I want to believe that I will always be safe and secure as long as there are arms reaching out for me, to protect me from the evils of the world. I want to believe that good always trumps evil.

But I am not  four years and old oblivious to the world, I am not sitting in my mothers lap and it is I who holds out my arms to protect my children from the evils of the world.

I am a thirty year old mom, with enough access to information to be able to make a difference. With shoulders that can carry a burden for someone whose burden may just be a bit too heavy for them. With enough knowledge to know that sometimes good doesn't trump evil but with enough faith to know that somewhere in place there is a plan bigger that I cannot begin to understand.

It's TIME!!

I want to make a difference.

I want to make this dream that has been swirling around in my head for years and years a reality.

I want to make a difference.

I have watched shows about people who have gone to Africa, giving money, time and love.
I have watched my friends go around the world administering needles for incurable diseases
I have listened to stories about how ones life has changed.
I have stood behind my husband, a soldier, knowing that he is fully trained to defend his country. Watching him make a difference.

I want to make a difference.

It's time.

I don't know what I will do yet. I have plans, so many plans but nothing is concrete. Not yet. Soon. So soon!

I have a beginning plan. It's so simple. And I can't take credit for it all because it was a stranger in the grocery store that gave me the idea to start. He smiled at me. That's all he did, he smiled. I was walking down an aisle at the grocery store. I was talking with Alyson who was sitting in the little seat at the front of the cart. I was glancing around at the sale items on display, and swiftly raised my eyes up to make sure that I wasn't going to bump into someone else coming in the other direction ( I am the WORST person to steer a cart) and there was a man walking towards me. He was smiling when I looked up. I averted my eyes away, not rudely but I didn't see any reason why he would be smiling at me. But I looked up again, I had to,  he looked happy, he looked content and I secretly wanted in on his happiness.

That's it right there!! Happiness is CONTAGIOUS!!!

When I looked up again at him he was still smiling. I smiled back. How could I not? I remember walking out of the grocery store feeling good. Really, really, good and I couldn't even tell you why. But it doesn't even matter why...

I am going to smile. At random people doing random things! I always smile at babies, anytime I see a baby I have a need to smile at them, give their parents that "knowing" look. So babies and parents of, are out! I don't mean I will stop smiling at then, but they aren't going to be my target people. Nope, I want random, walking down the street, shopping at the mall, pumping fuel kind of people.

Please join me! I have a feeling it will be amazing!! And tell me your results!! I believe that happiness is contagious...and we all need some happiness in our lives!!!

Then I will start my bigger plan!

I want to make a difference.

xxoo

Snow Snow Make Some Room...I Wish To See My Flowers Bloom

I'm better now. My grumpy self subsided when I realized that I get to sleep in on Saturdays. I think somewhere along the road of "Pity Party" and "Sulking 101" I forgot that even though the day may start off cruddy there is usually some form of rainbow at the end. (Rainbow...glass of red wine, I'm not picky)

And of course there is talk of SPRING!! I can't wait for flowers to bloom, snow to melt away and to wear soft pink again. Spring is just a feel good season. Even if my washer doesn't agree. Jonathan likes to jump, run and splash through every single mud puddle he can find. Destyni is more of the girly girl type and looks on in despair at Jonathan but then I see the envy in her eyes. Next thing Destyni is splashing through as well. I let them! Not all the time, as long as they are wearing darker clothing and we aren't going anywhere, I let them. It just looks too fun not to. This year, since I am not pregnant and have all ability to jump, I may just go out and buy myself some cute rain boots and join them. Where's the fun in watching from the sidelines?? And someone has to teach Alyson how to properly kick up her heels in the rain!!

White Flag'in It

I'm in a bad mood... I don't want to be. I want to be all happy and cheery and light, because of all things it's Friday AND the sun is beaming outside!!!

I am in a bad mood cause I am so cranky and it all falls back on to the exhaustion. The total and utter exhaustion. The getting up two, three, four times a night--Alyson's feedings, Jonathan's yelling out, the list goes on and on....

 I don't know what happened to "normal" but my normal sneaked out the door while I was wasn't sleeping (along with my good mood.)

It's partly my own fault. I haven't slept for more that six hours in seven months. I probably could get in an eight hour night but that means going to bed at eight o'clock, but I feel like I'm being reprimanded? After I get all the kids in bed it's "me" time. The only time I get during the day to do what I want. And it's so easy to forget how tired I was that morning when I am giddy that I get to choose what I want...maybe even watch a show on TV that is rated PG!!! Or sit on a chair reading wonderful blogs UNINTERRUPTED...or nothing...just doing NOTHING.

I'm officially raising my white flag! I'm exhausted....and going to spend some quality time napping this weekend. I may even go to bed one night at eight...okay nine but that's the earliest...

I Quit!!

I'm a quitter! I am...there I put it in writing and Dear Chicken, the sky did not fall. Life will still move forward. I have heard so many people spit negative arguments about quitting. There is even a shadow cast upon those who quit. So cast away...I am a QUITTER!!!

I love starting new projects, I wish I could post pictures of all my little projects, but they are only half done, no bragging rights for those. Or a quarter done...rarely completely done. But I have a good reason for this...actually a great reason. Not an excuse. I try...quite hard actually...to live life to the fullest. I try not to waste time doing things I don't like to do. But I want to try everything! Everything, everything, everything. I want to try painting and drawing, renovations and building. I am under no false pretenses that we are going to live forever. I don't want to squander away time doing something I am not really interested in, while the world holds promise of  millions of interesting things I haven't tried yet.

How can I put hours of effort into something if I am not enjoying myself? So. the desk in our bedroom is only half sanded...who cares? Well maybe Scott because that's where he studies BUT it's not bothering him. And it doesn't bother me. I don't look at the desk and think, "Oh, another project I didn't finish." I look at the desk and tell myself, " I am glad I didn't buy the paint that was suppose to replace the color." =)

This doesn't apply to everything. I don't like cleaning my bathrooms but they get done. And sometimes waiting at the doctors office doesn't appease me but I do it. When I start losing interest in something I can feel my eyes starting to glaze over, my mind thinking of all the other things I could be doing. Of course this only relates to projects...painting, knitting, perhaps a new online course that I thought was going to be loads of fun.

So I'm off to find something new and gratifying to start--perhaps I should sign up for a cake decorating class or a new exercise regime...And look at that... the sky is still in place =)

Stay-cation

It started happening again! The fading way into nothingness. Wondering where Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday went while I was waking up to a weak Friday sunlight. I need purpose, I need excitement, I need sparkle! I need to feel alive...oh Winter, you are beating me this year.

 I told myself this year it wouldn't happen, I told myself that I would get out there and do fun things all winter. I would keep the children busy so they wouldn't  feel like winter was dragging on like I do. But it was so fun to stay in , stay warm, drinking hot strong coffee, making warm meals, just snuggling on the couch watching TV, playing games with the children.  I went out when the fridge started looking bare or for much needed coffee runs. I stayed in, stayed warm and stayed put. And just about the time when that started becoming boring my parents and nephew booked a trip to come see us and I un-hibernated.

It's been SO much fun since they arrived. My nephew, Camron, and Destyni are a mere four months apart and they are best friends. That's not a term that Destyni uses lightly either. Destyni, Jonathan and Alyson love having their grandparents here to spoil them rotten and are enjoying some much needed time with their cousin.

They arrived last week, flew into the Pearson Airport where Desytni and I went to pick them up. I summoned enough courage to leave the comfort of my van and trotted around the airport looking for the right Terminal. This airport experience was a lot better than the last, it may have been because I only had one child with me or because I didn't have a screaming baby on my hip, or because I drank a gallon of coffee that day so my energy level was through the roof. I think the real reason was that I was feeding off of Destyni's positive energy, we had so much fun driving to the airport, blaring music and singing.

We have been trying to jam tons of activities into the week that they will be here. We visited the Georgian Mall where the kids enjoyed some ice cream treats!

Poor Destyni ended up getting the flu shortly after we left the mall and spent the next day in bed. She's such a trooper when she's sick. One day in bed and the next day she was buzzing around the house, packing her purse and spreading excitement through the house ensuring everyone knew that we were not staying home for one more day.

So we headed into Toronto. It was so much fun. The kids were able to experience their first subway ride. I would be lying if I said that heading into a big city with four children wasn't a little scary so we did a buddy system. The ratio was one child per one adult and worked great! Here we all are with our buddies =)

We visited the Hockey Hall of Fame, took tons of pictures, went out for supper at the Rainforest Cafe--one of the best places to eat if you have children. This place is amazing!! To top off an amazing day we grabbed Starbucks before driving home. Just the right amount of sparkle=)