After most of the morning rush is done and over with I open our laptop to check the news. What I am reading and seeing is horrific, sad and surreal.
Jonathan climbs into my lap while I am watching a news video. He sees the waves and the boats swirling around like bath toys caught in the swirl of the drain.
"That's so cool." He comments, his tender age doesn't allow for such horror to seep into his beautiful unhindered mind.
I envied him. For two whole minutes, I envied him. I wanted to be sitting on my mothers lap, not understanding what is happening in another part of the world. I want to believe in fairies and pixie dust again. And believe that it is Jack Frost who leaves alluring creations upon the windows on frigid winter mornings. I want to believe that I will always be safe and secure as long as there are arms reaching out for me, to protect me from the evils of the world. I want to believe that good always trumps evil.
But I am not four years and old oblivious to the world, I am not sitting in my mothers lap and it is I who holds out my arms to protect my children from the evils of the world.
I am a thirty year old mom, with enough access to information to be able to make a difference. With shoulders that can carry a burden for someone whose burden may just be a bit too heavy for them. With enough knowledge to know that sometimes good doesn't trump evil but with enough faith to know that somewhere in place there is a plan bigger that I cannot begin to understand.