Shower and A Knife!!

I am not sure when it happened, or even where it happened. But it did. Right before my eyes and I didn't even notice until this week. My little boy is growing up. And not the new stages of learning to crawl then walk, burble than speak. Nope, this is growing up into a boy who is almost ready for school. And I am having more mixed emotions then I know what to do with.

Jonathan was a late bloomer, which was just fine with me. There are five years between Destyni and Jonathan so I didn't mind that it took him longer to speak and walk. While it took him a while to grasp walking and talking he always had amazing dexterity skills. He was able to place blocks on blocks before he was six months old. It was so amazing to watch him play, sitting up on his own and lining things up and on top of each other.

I am trying to get mentally prepared for Jonathan leaving me in September to go to school. He has been home with me since birth so this adjustment will be hard. A part of me thinks he isn't ready to start just yet but it's probably more so because I am not ready. He can't stop talking about starting school, there has been a backpack hanging in my closet for months just waiting to be placed on some little eager scholars shoulders. And with a very sad heart I know that little scholar will be mine. My youngest boy.

Maybe Jonathan senses this, maybe he knows that Mommy isn't really ready for him to enter into the world that he will take part of for at least twelve years. I believe this to be true. This week he is preparing me. He is doing things that will make the adjustment easier for both of us. On the weekend I was getting baths ready for the children. I bathed Alsyon and called up Jonathan for his bath. I asked him jokingly if he wanted to shower today. He has never been a fan of showers and had at that time never showered by himself. But to my surprise, when I asked him if he wanted to shower he said, "Yes Mommy, I am a big boy now."

The same night at dinner he told us that he was a big boy now and could use a knife. So I went into the kitchen opened the knife drawer as my body went into auto pilot while my mind replayed memories.  Holding Jonathan in the hospital room for the very first time, walking him from the living room to the kitchen for hours while he was colicky. I remembered the cute little noises that he used to always make when he was content in his crib. His first tooth, words and steps.

Being a Mom is hard, the hardest job there is. Shaping little minds into wonderful beings. Teaching values, morals, manners, and lessons. Getting up in them middle of the night for a soother, turn off a light, tuck ins and kisses. But the hardest bits are the ones that are completely out of my control. The letting go bits. I am not so good at it. I promised I would give all my children wings so that they could fly...but just between us I think that I'll put a GPS on their wings, so I will always know where they are.

Domestic WHAT???

Do you notice that your Facebook account, email account or any other account that is somehow fashioned as a Social Network asks you to describe yourself? Describe myself? Huh! How am I suppose to do that? But there it is, that simple question, who are you? Hmm...

I was on the phone with my bank the other day and the lady asked me if there was another number they could reach me at during the day. Basically she wanted to know if there was a work number that they should have on file. I told her that there was no other number, that I am a stay-at-home mom. She gave me a friendly laugh and told me that her and her female co-workers refer to this this occupation as Domestic Goddess. This is when I laughed, and maybe not so friendly but more in a "Pfft" kind of way. Domestic Goddess!

When I think of Goddess I think of this beautiful lady, wearing beautiful colors that match her skin tone just perfectly. Not wearing the color of food that one of my children either hugged me with all over their hands or Alyson sneezed all over me during mealtime. Wouldn't a Goddess love to have her house in order and everything just perfect so that when someone comes over unexpectantly you house doesn't look like someone tipped it over and shook it?.. .Just for fun. Although that's the state you would find my house in more times than not. And it's not because I don't clean. I clean every single day but for some reason there is rarely a time when my entire house stays that way.

Wouldn't a Goddess always be on time, not notoriously late for everything that has an appointment time attached to it? I am very organized, the more children I had, the more organized I became. But even when events are planned to perfection something happens and everything is tossed to the wind. I even set all my clocks in my house five minutes fast so that I am getting out the door with some time to spare. But when I am running around, throwing everything and anything into a diaper bag, grabbing snacks and juice boxes for the van and trying to make sure that all hats and mittens are on, somewhere during this "in house" workout it all falls apart. Either the dog barks, or Jonathan all of a sudden needs to go to the bathroom or the phone rings,  but I am always late.

There are some things that I have bang on though. Maybe this would be another type of Goddess. I will forget to check Destyni's pockets of her jeans and throw them in the dryer without any regard of the lip gloss that was forgotten in the pockets. Only to realize as we are rushing (surprise, surprise) out the door and I look down at my shirt and see a big stain on it. I will, without a doubt, go to the grocery store to get milk and pick up fifteen items only to realize as I am starting supper that out of those fifteen items milk was the only thing I did not pick up.

So I don't think that I will be entering Domestic Goddess in any slot that asks who I am. Not unless as a Domestic Goddess I have power to add just four more hours to each day. That way it would be entirely possible for me to get all of the things that need to done actually done. And then I may have time to dress up, have an immaculate house and live up to a Goddess standard.

Chase Those Blues Away...

I get that during this time of year it's hard to plan events, or get inspired in any way to do anything fun. All you really want to do is curl up in bed and stay under the covers until the sun decides to lose it's dullness and shine in that blinding way that only summer brings. And staying in bed under the covers would be so okay if you didn't have three children on the brink of "what's next" every few minutes. Since Scott has to study so much during this course I find myself not only doing regular parenting roles but also trying to find as much entertainment to squeeze into the weekends to keep the children busy so they aren't bugging Daddy to play.

 Scott studies in our room with the door shut but we are all aware that he is still just upstairs. There are times during the day when either Destyni or Jonathan will sneak away and I will find them in our room with Scott showing him something new that they have drawn, colored or learned to do. Okay to be honest, there are times when I even find myself in our room getting in a few minutes of adult conversation. Just because I can! Poor Scott, these are the reasons we actually have to leave the house. Temptation is just to strong when we know he is home.
So the kids and I decided to go sledding. We saw a hill in one of the little towns only a few kilometers from our house. Destyni thought the hill looked so fun so we just had to test it out. We had an amazing time, the kids had so much fun and it was exactly what we needed to pass the time.

This winter I decided to kick away any winter blues by going out and having some fun, even if the sun isn't shining all that brightly. At least it's out!! And the bonus is cold cheek kisses and  post winter fun hot chocolate =)

Sleep...I miss you!

I learned two very important things today. One...Toronto Airport is NOT easy to find if you are coming from the North direction. No matter who tells you it's easy to find, they are lying or the person was a  truck driver in a previous career. That's right Scott, that comment was aimed at you. And two...I am not a happy person when I have a quarter of the sleep I am used to getting.

 Getting to the airport... success...sort of, but only because we all made it in one piece. Leaving the airport...complete failure! I don't know where it all went wrong. There are a few things that I try never to do. I do not raise my voice at my children in public and I don't curse in public. I am not saying that if the time calls for it I don't have "a look" that makes my children stand almost at attention (I am not scary...truly, I just don't condone attitude and whining).
We (we being myself, Destyni, Jonathan and Alyson) drop my mother-in-law off at her gate and we start walking back the way we came. I landmark things when I am in in a new place. It's the only way that I haven't ended up lost or halfway across the country when the need to shop was stronger then the need to learn anything about the neighborhood that we moved into.

I knew we needed to pass two coffee kiosks. Alyson started getting fussy by the time we reached the first one. I don't even remember passing the second one, maybe that's where everything started going wrong. I ran up to the counter at the first cute little coffee shop and grabbed a Diet Pepsi and asked for a cup of hot water to heat Alyson's bottle. As Alyson starts getting louder and louder I ask Destyni to grab her bottle out of the diaper bag. Then I realize that her bottle is still in the van.

By this time I am starting to get hot, I can actually feel the wool of my winter coat scratching at the back of my neck. Normally when Alyson cries it doesn't bother me, I know that I can get what she needs in minutes, but at the airport I was clearly aware just how far away my van was. The kids and I start the fastest walking without running routine that ever was.

Up ahead I see a moving sidewalk, I also see the sign that has no strollers allowed but there is a time and a place to break rules and this was definitely one of those times. I race/drag the kids to the moving sidewalk, and just up ahead I see an open area with elevators to take us to the floor that our van is parked on. We jump on the sidewalk, I am desperately trying to make sure that the stroller is on, Alyson is perched on my right hip, I have Jonathan holding on to my left hand and I am trying to give Destyni instructions on hopping on to the moving sidewalk. In seconds we are all on successfully...wishful thinking! As soon as I jumped on I noticed something wrong, it felt like I was walking on wet tar. It took a millisecond to realize that we were on a moving sidewalk going the opposite way...enter the public cursing! As if that's not embarrassing enough, I am trying to get the kids off the sidewalk before one of them falls or something terrible happens and Jonathan trips. It was horrible. And ended up getting worse when I am trying to pick Jonathan up off the floor, hold on to the stroller, hang on to Alyson and help Destyni get her footing.  Now enter raising my voice at my children. But maybe it was because I was trying to yell over Alyson's constant crying. And it wasn't yet eight thirty...in the morning =(

The airport...now known as the bane of my existence. So Mom, Tommy, Jenn, and Tasha, when you come to visit I will gladly pick you up at the airport. Thankfully you all know what my van looks like so you won't have a hard time finding me in the parking lot, cause that's where I'll be. Hiding in my comfort zone. Oh by the way, I have taken the liberty of looking up price fares from the Hamilton airport =)

Back To...Normal?

Routine. Blah! Even feels bad rolling off my tongue. It's always been harder to get back to routine after the Christmas break then the summer break. I wonder why. Maybe because from January summer vacation looks so far away. I liked my days filled with every other day sleeping in, wrapping presents, enjoying wine for supper even if it was a Monday night, Destyni, Jonathan, and Alyson's excitement about Christmas. Not that Alyson really understood but she slept through the night over the entire vacation so I am going to claim it's because she was so jazzed during the day about Christmas that she was exhausted and slept through the night. That's what I am going to tell myself because since vacation  ended she has been getting up through the night. By 5:20am I had already been up four times. After the third time of getting up to readjust a soother, or turn off a bathroom light that Jonathan being thoughtful had left on, blinding me in the dark, I vaguely remember stomping down the stairs for a bottle and Scott quietly getting up out of bed and gathering all of his work clothes and school work. Coming over to kiss me on the head and tell me that he was just going to get ready in the bathroom. He probably felt safer behind a locked door.

But seriously if it only takes a Christmas tree and some lights to make Alyson sleep through the night I am considering keeping a tree up all year.  I would even put a tree in her room,  why not right? As parents aren't we suppose to keep our children happy. This all makes sense in my head, keeping up decorations, lights and a tree. Then again I am going on very limited sleep and I am pretty sure I just seen Jonathan do a magic trick that actually made Destyni disappear, either that or she left for school. Maybe for the next little bit I shouldn't be making any important decisions. So for now I'll leave Alyson's room tree-less and hope that even her routine will go back to pre-2011.Yawn...