Monday, July 25, 2011

Feeling Guilty

There is guilt already bubbling up in my mind about what I have planned for next week, and there shouldn't be.

Scott and I are on vacation together for two full weeks!! I am so excited! Two weeks of not having to worry about work, doing what we want during the day and staying up late at night. Well eleven o'clock seems to be late in my world lately, none the less it's still staying up late.

Even though I am thrilled to bits about this vacation time I am also aware of the feelings that I have been having lately. I am yearning for time to myself, to do all the little things that I love so much. I even have a plan, it looks something like this. Get up early and go for a jog, come home, take a long hot shower, get ready and leave. Grab the keys and just go.

There is a lake about thirty kms away from our house. I want to sip a Starbucks while letting my mind open to new writing ideas. I want to sit on the bench and feel the breeze of the water and not do anything else. In the truck I will have my laptop, some other writing utensils (for when the battery dies) and some snacks. I plan on doing some window shopping, taking pictures, writing tons and tons but the bottom line is that I need rejuvenation.
Where I will be

I feel myself getting tired and worn out, it's my own fault though. I always feel so guilty when I leave my children. When Scott is home and I go and get groceries I zip around the store to make sure I am home before bedtime. If I go shopping in town I always take Destyni or Jonathan with me so that I can spend some special one on one time together. But I need this little mini vacation, even though I feel so guilty.

I think this time away is good for both myself and the kids but it's still hard to take one day all to myself. I shouldn't feel guilty, should I?

1 comment:

Slidecutter said... shouldn't feel guilty, not at all.

But..we all seem to fall victim to that second-guessing about how we should enjoy some wonderful free time. There's always something that needs doing, etc., and it screams to us when we steal a quiet moment for ourselves.

Just go..and enjoy!