Right now I am sitting on my bed, drinking red wine and grasping at a thousand thoughts running through my head. This is the first night that I have been on my own since we moved to Ontario. Scott has gone to the airport to pick his mother up, she'll be spending Christmas with us. And I am kind of liking the peace of the house. The children are all in bed and I am relaxing!! Real relaxing, not the kind of forced relaxing that most of us moms try to convince ourselves that we are doing. The sitting on the couch watching TV, folding laundry, picking up toys and making mental lists of all the housework that should be getting done if you weren't relaxing. Nope! Tonight I am "real life" relaxing, and it feels great. I know that there is a load of laundry downstairs that needs to be folded, a bed that needs to be made up and I am sure that I did not turn the dishwasher on, but for this night I am not going to worry about it. The laundry can be put away tomorrow, the bed can be made later and if there happens to be no dishes for breakfast, well that's the bonus of having birthday parties, there is always paper plates left over !
This is putting a nice end to a long week, and not really a great week. The kind of week that kicks your ass on Tuesday and you aren't really sure how you are going to get to Friday, except with a little bit of hope and caffeine, loads and loads of caffeine. Jonathan ended up getting sick at the beginning of the week and it's heart wrenching. He is this child who has more energy than any other child I have ever known. He has a fever that has been going up and down for three days now, and his energy is just completely drained. But being an active four year old all he wants to do is get back into routine. He asks everyday to play on the Wii, or to go outside. It's so hard to say no with no good reason a four year old will validate. Yesterday he came up to me and said, "Mommy, I feel much better. Can I go and give Alyson a kiss now?"--melt! Give her a kiss, hell you can take her out for ice cream, here is the keys to the van, my credit card and anything else you need. Seriously...how do you say no to that?
And yes it's only Thursday, but Scott's work week ended today so mine does as well. Just being able to share the nighttime feedings is enough for me. And yes, we still get up for nighttime feedings. So for now I think I am going to bask in this short lived peace, finish my wine and "real life" relax!!