Monday, November 22, 2010

So Long Negativity...Please See Yourself to the Door

"I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be."

Do you ever wish you could sit in a movie theatre and see your life from past to present? See how much you have grown as a person, who you were to who you are now. There is much debate on whether people can change or not. I don't think this should even be a debate. At nineteen years old my concerns were about a part time job, college, clothes and my social life. A few months later I was graced with the news of my first pregnancy. Nine years later my concerns are my children's health and happiness, taking them to activities, planning appointments, immunizations and meals, laundry and cleaning. The person I am today probably wouldn't even recognize the person I was nine years ago. So I definitely believe people can change and I believe they do, all the time.

My 30th birthday is approaching, quite quickly. This is not something that I fear or dread. I try not to ever waste time on things that are inevitable and age is one of them. I don't look at what I haven't done yet but look back at all I have done in thirty years. How could I have one regret when I look at my children playing together, or walk around my house and glance at all the pictures at my laughing smiling family. The thing that fills my life is love and warmth, that's what I have thirty years later. But it's taken me a long time to fully realize this.

There are still things that I want to change about myself. I have promised myself that I would take time out of each day to remember how thankful I should be for all I have in my life. I have told myself that if I am taken up room in my life with negativity then the obvious reaction to that would be kicking out positivity, and that's hard to swallow. So negativity I am afraid I have no room in my life for you. You and I have been partners in crime for some time and we have even held together through some rough times but I am through with you. Please see yourself to the door.

So it is taking me a long time to become the person I want to be and not without making some mistakes along the way. But each day I am getting closer and closer and that's fine with me. I am going to enjoy this journey and look back in another thirty years and be that much more thankful for what I have.

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