To the Future Mrs. Harper

Dear Future Mrs. Harper,

When you read this you may not yet be Mrs. Harper, but I imagine that you are on your way to joining our little circle. It may appear that I am jealous of you, by the lingering looks that I may pass your way, by the way that I watch you move, how you speak and what your interests are. It's so important to me because you are going to be such a huge part of my life, even before I met you I knew you would come along one day. It was only so long that he could have went without having a woman by his side, someone he could love, spoil and share his life with.

I have known about you for a while. You aren't really a surprise to me, but my heart still clenches and breaks when I think about how you are going to take him away from me.

When Jonathan was seven years old he came and sat down beside me on the love seat in our home. He looked up at me with his beautiful blue eyes, long eyelashes shadowing his irises. In his hands he had a Mountain Equipment Co-op magazine. It had to have been 150 pages, full of every item you would ever need for any outdoor activity.

For as long as I live I shall never forget this day.

He snuggled in beside me, outside the wind was howling, it was a month before Christmas and our street had the beginnings of Christmas joy. Out of the corner of my eye I could see small white lights twinkling and winking as the wind whipped them around. Jonathan opened up the book to the middle where there was pictures of clothing that you may wear if you were hiking or biking. He had quite a few of these items circled in black marker, some of them had a circle and a big X with the number 2, 3 or 4.

Jonathan started explaining to me all of the things that he was going to do when he was a grown up, but not just what he was going to do, what he and his wife were going to do. He said he was going to buy her all the clothes that he had circled, he was going to buy her a bike, a helmet a tent. Jonathan wanted to buy everything he could for his wife so that he could take her biking, camping, and rock climbing. He wanted to make her happy, before he knew who she was.  Then he pointed to a picture with the X and the number 4 beside it and he told me that those were items for himself, his wife, his son and his daughter.

So, to the Future Mrs. Harper, please understand that at the age of seven, Jonathan knew that he wanted to love someone and take care of them. He knew he wanted a family.  I love this child of mine more then words can explain, he is the sweetest, kindest, and funniest boy I have ever known. During those times when you think I am crazy and that I only see his reasoning and not yours, try and understand that at one time he was just mine, I didn't have to share him with another woman. Always try and remember that this child's heart has been pure since the day he came into the world. This change will not be easy, even if I know it's what makes Jonathan happy. Please step into this role graciously and give me time to step out slowly.

Mrs. Harper