Thursday, June 23, 2011
Mama Bear meets Souless Strangers!!!
Being a mother is amazing. It's easy, it's fun, it's beautiful most every single day. It's the parenting that's hard. It's difficult, it's challenging, it's exhausting at best. Thankfully there are so many strangers that will give you unsolicited advice, because OBVIOUSLY their children are perfect. This is to you strangers, who are the perfect parents.
1. Mind your own concerns.
2. Unless you live with me 24/7 there is NO way that you can possibly know my children better than I.
3. Or the strangers who have "been there." I hear comments on how sweet and beautiful Destyni is and then they always find it in their best interest to include the standard comment-- have fun when she is a teenager.
I do plan on having fun when she is a teenager. I am going to give her my vehicle whenever she wants it. I am going to fill it full of gas and teach her how to use the four wheel drive. I am going to make sure that she knows I will buy liquor for her and for all of her friends. I will not only willingly lie to her friends parents about how my husband and I will be chaperoning her party. I am going to suggest to Destyni that she should in fact give me her friends numbers to save time and just call the parents myself.
4. Alyson was my only roly poly baby. I LOVED when someone I had never met before use to comment on that. Especially when they would say she was "fat." In our house using the "F" word is completely forbidden unless talking about the part of meat you don't have to eat.
Standard answer to all you small minded people!!!
"Yes, my daughter is very healthy. Don't you think it's so much better than having a tiny baby who looks like they were never fed. I am proud of myself for remembering to feed her every meal. Go me!!!"
5. Yes my child is having a meltdown. Yes I am handling it and yes this is NORMAL!!!!
6. All of our children have the same color brown hair except for Alyson. This beauty has a head full of rusty red hair. While waiting in line at the grocery store this women comments on the brown hair from our other children and how Alyson's hair is so red.
Lady: "Wow your little one has red hair, she must get it from your husband." She must have already scoped out my left hand for my wedding band.
"Not that I know of."
Then I walk away.
7. Going for a walk outside I pass a lady who apparently lives on my street. She looks at my children (the three of them) and states out of the blue.
"Wow, these are all yours?"
"Oh yes they are all mine so are the other six inside my home. Well they are kind of mine. It's complicated. You see my husband has four wives, I am number 3 and together we have a bunch of children. Please don't tell anyone, it's illegal in Canada you know."
8.While at the pool the other day a little fella was splashing Jonathan. His mother went up to Jonathan and gave him permission to splash her little guy back. So I think a thanks is in order.
Thank you crazy women who just threw out my four years of teaching Jonathan to try and be the better person by walking away from a situation. Hats off to you!
9. Destyni was fussing at a party one evening as a lady scornfully told me that she fostered over 50 children and none of them had ever used a soother. She of course said it loud enough so that everyone could hear.
"Really, fifty children. Wow that is a lot of children, you must have lacked tons of sleep. Maybe that's why you are a cranky wench in your old age. Probably should have used the soother, helps my daughter sleep three hours longer."
10. One that I could probably use weekly.
"I promise that as soon as I find my parenting manual I will raise my children the exact way that you have raised yours."
Truthfully, aren't we all just trying to raise perfect children.
**This post was prompted by Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writing Workshop.
1.) List 10 things you wish you could say to strangers who share unsolicited advice about your parenting skills.
2.) Write a poem inspired by a picture you took last week. Share both!
3.) Create a bucket list of 50 things you want to do this summer (with or without the kids!)
4.) A country you would like to visit.
5.) What is something you could stand to learn from your significant other?
6.) Getting kids dressed? Cooking dinner? Bed time? Create a video that describes the most difficult part of the day for you