Monday, May 16, 2011

I Want To Be A Billionaire...

Okay now that I have you singing that song-- I have so many ideas on how to become rich... And I don't mean a few million. I mean Bill Gates totally jealous, swimming in pools of thousands, own my own Caribbean Island (or two) rich.
First I would design a drug (all natural or course) that you could take first thing in the morning. It would allow your body to awake and do its normal morning things, shower, brush teeth...blah blah blah while your mind has no idea. It's still sleeping. That way when your alarm goes off and you hardly have the energy to lift your arm to turn off the alarm you can swallow one of these babies and your off.

Second- I would invent a magic potion (that's right magic, did you really think this was going to make "real" sense?) Back to my magic potion. It would be powder...pretty sparkly powder that you could carry in your purse, pocket...hell you could have it on the ready in your hand if you felt the need. The minute that your child started acting up in public you would sprinkle this miracle dust over them and BAM! They become silent. The child will still be talking, taking a fit, spinning off attitude but you wouldn't have to hear it. Children have to right to express their feelings, but it doesn't say anywhere that you actually have to listen. Imagine having this potion being stuck in a traffic jam. Sweet mercy...what I would give!


Third-I would design mini escalators. Affordable, cheap mini escalators. This is not for the lazy, this is for sanity purposes only.  Imagine how easy it would be to bribe convince your children to go to bed if they could go upstairs via an escalator!!??? Doing laundry would be kick ass!! I would sell these for cheap so you could all have one!! No money required...maybe just a Starbucks coffee...well on second thought it may be cheaper to just buy a new house with a full size escalator. I am still working out the finer details of this one =)


Do you have ideas on how to become a millionaire?


1 comment:

Slidecutter said...

Yes....Disposable Baby Onesies. Soft & bright colors, great for travel and a time saver when baby manages to wet through everything; all Mommy has to do is do a quick clean-up, put a new one on under an outfit that is pee-free.

Don't judge me; this was the best I could come up with.