As If You Didn't Know

Once upon a time I was smart... I think we can even venture down the road of intelligent (doesn't the added letters make it sound more official?) Of course I only realized how important it was to pay attention after I spent the first bits of my life running away from anything that took up any of my social time--but that's for another day. I love to learn new things, soaking up information like a sponge. Unfortunately I can't seem to remember things like I used to. It's probably years of no sleep, or staying at home for the past 5 years with my children, or because my sentences consists of:

"Don't touch that."
"Don't put that in your mouth."
"Don't roll your eyes at me."
"Go to bed."

Do you see any word in that dialogue longer than 5 letters? Nope, me either...sigh.

And after nine years of parenting, I can still be SO dense. Sometimes to a point where it's just pathetic. So I thought I would write down some of the most important things that I have learned in the last nine years. And if I forget them I can just scroll down my posts and re-read them. Look at me getting all intellectual again.
1. Stop scrubbing your floors, Jonathan is going to rush in as soon as they dry, NEEDING to go to the bathroom with no time to remove his mud caked rubber boots.

2. Stop staying up past 9:00. Alyson has telepathically learned to sense the minute you hit REM sleep and will wake the instant your body foolishly thought it was going to get rest.

3. Stop worrying about the teenage years with Destyni. She has already learned to roll her eyes, spin off attitude and look at you like your from a different planet--your too late to worry. You should have started the minute the doctor said, "It's a girl."

4. Every time you see a baby and wonder if you should have "just one more." KICK YOURSELF!!

5. Stop buying white clothes!!!!

6. Stop trying to get ahead-you won't!  You spend too much time organizing and planning when you could be watching TV, or better yet drinking wine.

7. Embrace your van. Remember, you can stick the kids in the very back, turn up the music and not hear them yelling, sulking, or fighting.


Now I just have to remember that I actually made this list and I should stay ahead of the game.