Tuesday, June 28, 2011

JERKS JERKS JERKS!!!!

Okay so this is how it goes. Every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday my alarm goes off at precisely 5:01am. I like to set my alarm on an uneven number, I have no idea why.

I get out of bed in a haze, stretch while getting dressed and then out the door into the crisp morning. Aren't I making it sound like such a wonderful experience??

 I won't mention how for the first five minutes after the alarm goes off I mentally and physically convince myself that getting up before the sun is the grandest of ideas. Or how, when I am brushing my teeth, I am thinking of some contorted way of placing my body on the vanity so that I can catch just three more minutes of sleep.  

Nope---it's amazing getting up at that time. No effort!

Usually I don't pass anybody on the road. Some mornings I change it up and take a completely different route. I read somewhere that there are freaks that will watch your running routes and stalk you.

Why do I think I am stalk worthy? I don't....I am pretty convinced that I would talk the ear off anyone who would even think of stealing me and they would  probably throw me right back where they found me--five minutes flat! I change it up because I'm badass.

Today I totally changed my direction....and I passed four people!! FOUR PEOPLE! It was the equivalent of Walmart at Christmas, although the people I passed were dressed better. Okay I lie...I have no idea if they were dressed better or not. It takes until I get up, run, shower, get dressed, grab my keys, drive to the nearest McDonald's drive-thru, order an iced coffee, and guzzle it down before I can even begin to properly judge how someone is dressed.

That being said, FOUR PEOPLE!!!  If you are outside at that time in the morning I assume you are either die hard exercise gurus or are being forced out of the house. If by chance I do happen to meet anyone on the road I either nod, smile or make some acknowledgement that I see them. A very friendly, "That's right, we're kicking some early morning ass."

The four jerks on the street wouldn't even smile!! Hello it's friggen 5:15AM!! Would it hurt you to smile just a little???!!

I passed by a couple running. I was on the other side of the road and when I was close enough I smiled and nodded. I would almost bet money (although not a lot, I save for iced coffees) that the guy started talking about me. I can't verify this for sure because I was listening to my IPOD but he basically looked at me, scoffed, turned his head towards his partner and started talking. Umm...I can still see you... JACKASS!

It's not like if either of them would of smiled I would have gone over and started up a conversation.

I am not up at the crack of dawn to talk to people...I am up for one reason and one reason only!! I want my ass to look smokin hot in yoga pants.

Either of them could have been nice and smiled or nodded. Did they think I was going to want to start running with them. I was running South,  they were running North, you have to be pretty damn special if you want me to change my direction and start over...umm no thanks!

I wasn't going to get in the middle of them, grab their hands and demand them to start singing the Barney theme song!!

I'm not out hunting best friend worthy people.

I was trying to be FRIENDLY!!

If I pass by this couple tomorrow I'll have to think of another plan. I could totally ignore them, but I don't like to be blatantly rude. I could nod again and be the bigger person...although I don't think that will make much of a difference...

Obviously I have to resort to kindergarten rules...I may run on their side of the road tomorrow...and I may accidentally stick my foot out while I nod and smile...

JERKS!!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow...I thought I was the only strange person that needs to set my alarm at odd numbers, apparently it's a family thing.

Love ya!
Tasha

Aries Mommy said...

I always thought there was a runners code to smile and nod. Maybe I just run/walk past some nice people. Your blog is amazing:)