Sunday, April 17, 2011

I Don't Like You

I don't like you. It's nothing personal, it's me.

I am not sure if I was born without the ability to like, or if it is something that my heart thought about and decided against it. This may make me sound standoffish, but it's not that at all.

I love....I don't know how to like. I love...with my entire being....

 I love my children,

 I love Scott,

 I love people in general.
 I love sunrises, sunsets and Sundays. I love shopping, spending time with friends, cooking and red wine.

 I love all things chocolate as long as it's milk chocolate. I love reading, writing and learning. I love starting new projects and never finishing them. I love candles.
There isn't a lot of grey in my life (not even in my closet!!!) because it's all so black and white for me.

Which of course makes me a romantic... I believe in soul mates. I really do. I believe in happy endings and almost anything sentimental will make me tear up.

When bad things happen in the world I get a physical pain in my heart, an actual pain. And there are times when I just feel empty.

I don't see things the way most people see things. This can get confusing and frustrating, for me and for the person who is trying to deal with me. School was hell  not so fun. When asked questions I would write down my answer, totally believing that it was the right answer. It only took a few years for me to realize that my answers (if based on my own thoughts) were most likely never going to be correct, or remotely close to what my teachers were looking for.

So I stuck my head in the sand...a fine place to be. But as I get older I am learning to embrace who I really am. Seeing the world from a different view allows me to gain a different perspective. It is given me the experience to be able to teach my children how it's more than okay to be different.

Does anyone else feel like this? Are you grasping it and loving it? Pretty amazing isnt' it?



Courtney J. said...

Yes! Be different. If you don't feel "different" then you're not being true to yourself. I think that's a great lesson to teach your children.

Johi said...

Wow- great post!!! I'm just like you, except I like DARK chocolate ;)Are you a Pisces, by chance?
I've always seen things differently from the rest of my family, but somehow I always knew that it was okay to be different. I embraced those differences, and almost went as far as to challenge people with them. lol! Ahhh, still learning over here.

Jeri Lynne said...

I totally understand where you are coming from! To me, relationships are very black and white. I love you or I don't. Period. I would love to have friends to just call up and say hey, lets go do this or that...but I don't have the patience to get past all of the 'small talk' it takes to just like someone enough to hang out. School was very lonely for me. I was too different and dedicated to my own path to become involved in the 'immature' things that my peers were involved in. It sucked. And really sucks now that I don't have those relationships to fall back on. I want my children to be able to be themselves too, but not to the point that they push people away (like I

Great honest post!

PETIT said...

we are all unique. dont be afraid to be different. stand out on what you believe.

Madison said...

Great blog! thank you for visiting me. I am your newest follower'
all around autism

. . . and that's a true story said...

I love this post! Refreshingly honest.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm your newest follower. :)

Natalie said...

I love this and I love you! I love love, too. I love loving things. I love loving everything. They say it makes me naive, but that's okay. The world needs more lovers like us, I say.